HAS I SAT HERE THINKING ABOUT WHAT WAS MY FIRST BLOG WAS GONNA BE ABOUT... I START TO THINK OF THE THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO ME . AND HOW THOSE THINGS MADE ME WHO I AM NOW!!
“Sometimes I feel like a motherless child, a long way from home”, a song sang by a Kisha in Tyler Perry’s hit stage play “I can do bad all by my self. As I sat watching this film I related to the character, Kisha. She encountered similar trials and tribulations as my self. Similar to kisha, my mom was on drugs and constantly neglected her child. Although I know my mom loved me, not having her there sometimes convinced me to think otherwise. As a child my siblings and I had to be separated among different family members. My mom’s drug abuse was the number one reason for this.
As much as she may have wanted to take care of us, she just was not able. I got accustomed to not seeing my mother everyday. It was difficult for me to hear my aunties and other family members say things like, “don’t open the door for your mom” or “don’t let your mom in this house”. She would sneak and steal from those who loved her. Her bad drug habits became excessive and too hard for others to bear. Drugs or no drugs I still love my mom. I used to sit up all night and cry thinking to my self why me Lord. I didn’t understand why she chose drugs over her children and why she would continue on such a reckless path. Especially, since she had three young children, myself being a young confused girl longing for motherly love, my sister, battling with cerebral palsy and my brother being a young boy needing either a strong mother or father figure in his life.
Throughout it all I never treated my mom differently. Every moment spent with her was special to me. We both never spoke about the situation; honestly, I think that was best for us at the time. Now that I have grown into a young woman, the absence of a parent has helped me become self motivated, appreciative, and confident. While growing up there was always someone there to guide me. Giving up never crossed my mind. I always had goals that I looked forward to accomplish. I stopped complaining about my life and the things I didn’t have. Instead, I go after the things I don’t have. My confidence level was always low; it took me sometime to believe in my self, with help from friends and love ones. My life long dream is to become a teacher and to share my story with others, so that they may see hope in there situation and become motivated.
I have learned to appreciate the things that I have and reach for the things that I don’t. I learned even though life has dealt me a difficult hand, I learned to play that hand. God has put me in a situation in order to prepare me for all life has to offer. My ultimate goal is to become a successful teacher and teach others to go after your dream despite whatever hand life has dealt.
I HAVE LEARNED ALOT IN MY LIFE AND WOULDNT WANT IT ANYWAY
WOW MY FIRST BLOG!!!!